This post is actually hard for me to write because I always want to encourage people to travel often and as far as possible. I don’t even want to discourage travel to Turkey but I want you to think twice about traveling to Turkey alone as a female traveller. My experience in Turkey can best be described as a love-hate relationship. I loved the beautiful landscape of Cappadocia, the bustling city of Istanbul, and all the Turkish cuisine. But I hated the uneasiness that I felt and concern for my safety. I would have appreciated a more honest assessment of what Turkey as a female solo traveller would be like before I left so let me tell you about my experiences.
Prior to my trip: When I have told people of my Turkey vacation plans, they would ask me if ” Are you sure you want to go there?” or “Is it safe?” or “You aren’t traveling solo in Turkey, right?”. Their comments also included “I wouldn’t travel in Turkey as a female alone” or “You know that Turkey is at high risk and it isn’t safe to travel there”. I waved off all their concerns and comments as ignorance. After all, I have had plenty of friends travel to Turkey and loved it. They all told me they felt perfectly safe and not to worry. While I do believe that Turkey is safer than the news would like make it out to be, I still wouldn’t travel there again as a single female and let me tell you why.
Weird Transfer: My first weird experience was my transfer back after my sunset ATV ride. Even though it was a group of 20, they transferred me back to my hotel alone by one of the guys in his private car. As we were driving, he asked me what my plans were for the rest of the night. I responded that I was going back to the hotel and going to bed early since I planned at being up at 4 or 5am to take a sunrise balloon ride. Then he asked if I wanted to take a late night ATV ride. I laughed and told him that I only enjoyed the ATV ride when I could see the road. He told me that of course he would be driving and I would just be on the back of his ATV. Followed by “you like to drink – I get you more to drink and you just ride.” He made the assumption that I like to drink since I had a glass of the free champagne offered after the tour. I politely said no again and that I was tired and wanted to go back to the hotel.
He then asked me what my plans were for the next day and tried to get me to come back again to do another ATV ride. He insisted that I enter his phone number into my phone and send him a message before I left his car. I did enter in his phone but then quickly left the car telling him that I would send the message later. I have no idea whether he was trying to hit on me with the offer of a late night ATV ride or just wanted to squeeze as much money out of me as possible. After all, I did give them a tip so maybe he just looked at me and saw $$ signs. Either way, I felt weird about his pushiness and insistence that I return for an ATV ride especially since I was alone in the car with him.
Shady Tour: The next day I was signed up to take the Red Tour in Cappadocia. They have several options and picked up passengers for all the tours in one shuttle. They seemed to have no idea who purchased which tour. It was pure chaos for them to organize which passengers belonged in which van. They had people get into a van just to tell them a few minutes later to go on another one. They told two Chinese tourists that they were at the wrong company, dropped them off at their tour agency, and then 2 minutes later they were back in our van.
We looked ready to leave when a man got onto the full van and looked around. He asked me if I was alone and told me to get off the vehicle. I believed that I was on the right bus so I said no. He left and then came back two minutes later yelling and motioning for me to get off the bus. I again said no and looked to the driver for help but he didn’t speak English at all. The man was still motioning frantically for me to leave, so I finally followed.
They asked me to get into a private car with a young man because my tour left and he needed to take me to the group. I felt like it wasn’t right but separating the tours was so chaotic that I went along with it. I asked the young man where I was going and he just said he was bringing me to the first stop. After driving for 5 minutes, he took a phone call and stopped the car. This is when I really began to panic. I had no idea what he was saying since he was speaking in Turkish. I knew that something wasn’t right but didn’t know what to do. Should I open the door and run out of the car? Cappadocia is pretty remote and we weren’t super close to anything but the main road couldn’t be more than a half mile away. My mind was racing but I did nothing. His phone call ended and he began to turn the car around. I asked him, “Where are we going?”. At first, he said he didn’t know. Still panicked, I kept asking “where are you taking me?” He said there was a mistake and he was bringing me back. He did bring me back to the exact van that I had left. The man in the front seat finally spoke up as the tour guide. He had never introduced himself so I had thought he was just another passenger the whole time. He apologized to the whole bus for the confusion and time delay.
On one of the later stops, he told me privately that he was sorry. The man who had come on the bus had acted alone and was supposedly trying to get me to take a private tour. But once they realized that I was their passenger, they had demanded that he bring me back. Okay great that you had them bring me back. But why would you let a strange man come onto the van, yell at your passenger, and take them away in the first place?? I had an uneasy feeling the whole day and was afraid of just being left at a stop since they didn’t seem to care. I believe that the man who came onto the bus was just trying to get me to take a private tour so they could charge me more money. But it doesn’t matter what the reason was, it made me feel me feel extremely uncomfortable and scared. I shouldn’t be made to feel that way on a tour that I paid for.
Harrassed in the streets of Istanbul: What I have found most difficult about traveling alone in Turkey is the amount of men that approached me. It wasn’t bad in Cappadocia because I was with a tour group every time I left my hotel. But as soon as I arrived in Istanbul, I started constantly getting approached. As I walked the streets, I would hear “Hello lady”, “beautiful lady”, “darling” , “where are you from” , “are you lost” , “where are you going”, “excuse me, hello”, “this way princess”, “everyday I see you, why have you not visited me yet” etc. My personal favorite opening line was when I ignored a guy and he shouted “I love you, why don’t you love me?”. That one at least got me to chuckle and was the most creative of my few days here.
Men hollering about women is nothing new or unique to Turkey. Their catcalls were comparable to walking through a construction site in the United States. The only difference is the construction site is a small area and over relatively quickly. While in Istanbul, it was never-ending. The only peace and quiet that I would get was inside tourist attractions since security keeps them from harassing their guests.
The catcalling was annoying but something every woman has dealt with before. What was strange to me was that the men would actually start walking along side you asking you more questions. Even when ignoring them or telling them no. They would be very persistent and not take no for an answer and continue to walk along side of me. Some of them were trying to get you to pay them to be your personal guide inside a tourist attraction so you could skip the line. I also saw them do this to some families with small children as well. Other men wanted to bring you to a store to show you their merchandise. I must have been approached by every single carpet shop they must have in Istanbul within my couple of days there. Other men asked me on dates.
True Intentions:
It is hard for me to say what the true intentions of the men of Istanbul were. I don’t think it was one clear answer across the board but I found 3 common themes.
Sales :I think the vast majority are struggling due to the poor economy and just want to make a sale to support their family. Which it is hard to fault them for wanting to make a living and provide for their family. I just didn’t like their tactics.
Date: I got asked out on dates by 4 men on my first day in Istanbul walking the streets by myself. They offered to take me for hot or cold drink depending on the time of day. One guy asked me to dinner the next day. They said they just wanted to talk to me more but I have a feeling their true intentions were to get me alone and drunk and take advantage of me. Of course, I said no to all these offers and I happy to be left to wonder on how they expected the “date” to end.
The guy who asked me to dinner didn’t want to take no for an answer. I told him that I have a boyfriend at home and thought it would be disrespectful to him to go on a date. He said it isn’t a date just two friends have dinner. Don’t you go to dinner with your friends? Why don’t you want to go with me? What is the harm in just dinner, you have no reason not to go with me. Talk about not taking a simple no for an answer. Why would I want to go with dinner with someone who is bullying me into it?? Has that ever worked for him?
Improving English Skills: The first guy that approached me in Istanbul had very broken English and said he wanted to just improve his English skills. This may have actually been his true intention. However once I said no and that I wanted to walk alone, he tried to offer to arrange a guide or take me to his friends’ shop.
So I think there a wide variety of reasons for approaching women, some honest and some not so much. The problem is that so many men are trying to get your attention it begins to feel overwhelming. I just felt constantly harassed. Where it crossed the line for me was the men that would just start walking alongside you especially at night. It did make me fearful on how to get away from them. I have probably watched too much Dateline and murder shows for my own good so I jump to the extremes in my mind. Turkey’s current reputation of being unsafe certainly didn’t help ease my mind. No matter the reason, I just couldn’t put my guard down enough to enjoy walking the streets of Turkey alone as a female solo traveller. Vacation is supposed to be a relaxing break from your real life not stress you out.
I would absolutely suggest visiting Turkey and I will visit again one day but in a tour group or with friends. I was lucky enough to meet 3 other Americans from California and spent some time in Istanbul with them and it was like experiencing a whole new country. We would still get some men trying to sell us but it was no longer overwhelming. So by all means, visit Turkey just visit with a loved one! If you do plan to travel solo to Turkey then read my article, 10 tips to Avoid Harassment in Turkey.
Leave a Reply